Five Hand Woven
Posted in rugs on 09/19/2009 04:33 am by admin
Five Hand Woven
What do you think of this peace of writing?
To pass the time until the chopper arrived, Ryan took a cigarette and a lighter from one of his pockets and lit up. After taking a few puffs, he reached into another pocket and pulled out a faded, worn-out picture. There, frozen in time, was the most beautiful girl Ryan had ever seen; his five-year-old daughter.
Caitlin truly looked like an angel in her white dress as she smiled up at the camera in church. She held a woven basket in one hand and a fistful of rose pedals in the other. Her hair flowed gracefully over her shoulders. Her bright blue eyes penetrated Ryan’s very soul.
Caitlin and her mother, Bethany, were Ryan’s purpose for joining the Army. It was all to protect his wife and daughter. He would fight and die to keep his family safe. And he would be damned if he allowed some inhuman bastard do them any harm!
Good.
Yet, I would say it differs in some qualities from what we see in the best and more popular published novels.
What qualities?
Have you read and re-read any given novel that tells a story similar to what you are writing here?
If you haven’t, I recommend that you find a popular, well-respected novel similar to your story,and read and re-read it and study it. Memorized some of its sentences and paragraphs and recite them to yourself from time to time throughout the day.
Why?
Here’s why. When you are a novice writer, it is my view that you must start out imitating in certain ways the Masters who’ve come before you. Originality in your writing comes after you’ve mastered following the general model of the great writers who’ve preceded you.
If you try to be original from the beginning, you usually won’t be original at all, and won’t be quite good enough either.
Was that the kind of answer you were looking for? I hope so.
Your piece of writing above is good. But, it is lacking too, in certain things.
I think you need to read more stories like your story, one’s written by the very best writers out there. Then I think you’ll see what to do to make your story absolutely top notch, if that is your goal.
This is the pattern that Shakespeare followed. His early plays were very imitative of the plays of earlier playwrights. Only later did he create original works.
Best wishes.
Woven Hand in Stockholm 3/5-09 -”As I went out one Morning”
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